Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am available for nakedness
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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