Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
