she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
