Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize