Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
