i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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