you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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