Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
