Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
