Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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