You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i already hear my dad disowning me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize