Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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