I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
