I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
