the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
