I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
