I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize