God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
