why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No I am not eating basil off your cock
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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