My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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