do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
