You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
