Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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