The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
