Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize