Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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