Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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