butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
