Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
