Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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