Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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