thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
