is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
