I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
