turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
