do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
