i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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