I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
