Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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