Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
