apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
