I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
