super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
