you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
