I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize