it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
