I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
