I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
