so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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