if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
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A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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