pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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