drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
