i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
