Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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