like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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