lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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