hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
