Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
