3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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