No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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