If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
