her vagina looked like bernie madoff
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
