I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I am mentally ready for anal.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Come on in and take your pants off
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