why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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