hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
