she looked like the before picture.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
