i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
